Hey Fred! Um, I’m not really sure where to begin, but my name is Kyle, and I hear you talked to my girlfriend Megan today at the end of your talk at our church. I just want to thank you for writing Every Young Man’s Battle and Tactics. I’d also like to thank your son, Jasen, for writing Hero with you. Those books have really helped change me. I was born and raised in a Christian home, with very loving parents. I grew up with both my parents together, and they are still together, but my dad had to work hard to support us so I almost never saw him. In addition, his dad was never an open man, and now my dad is that same way. He was never very open with me, especially when it came to sex. I remember he gave me just one very basic talk at home after a basketball game in junior high.
My teen years were a really tough struggle for me, as I almost lost my sister, and there were a lot of other difficult things going on in my life at the time. I turned towards porn and masturbation, enjoying that comfort and false intimacy it gave me. Soon I was getting sexually intimate with girls, too. Before long, I was completely caught up in the world’s view of sexuality, and I hated who I was and I was constantly angry at myself and everyone around me. I knew I needed to change, but I just didn’t know how to do it.
Early this year my friend told me about your book, Every Young Man’s Battle, and told me about how it had changed his life. He told me I would benefit from it if I would read it, so I decided to check it out. I read the first three chapters and then I just stopped for a while because I got involved with another girl and it got hot fast. This past summer I was hired to work at a Christian camp in Ohio. During this time, I was still dating this girl I mentioned, and something inside of me was stirring where it didn’t feel right to be dating her anymore. So, when I was packing I decided to throw in your book and to hopefully start reading it again. At camp, I was automatically cut off from TV, Internet, or anything that could have any sexual images on it, which was helpful in focusing on God. I slowly started getting back into your book and also began reading God’s Word. During that first week of camp, I ended up finishing your book, as well as finishing the book of Job in the Bible. Both helped me a lot to realize that I needed to change my lifestyle and engage the battle for purity.
During the second week of camp, the girl I was dating broke up with me. It didn’t hurt a bit because I felt like I was slowly being freed from my prison. I decided that I wasn’t going to date for a while, and instead just focus on God that summer. But then I began to spend more time getting to know Megan, and I had an attraction to her. It was a physical one, sure, but it also felt like it was a lot more than that, and I noticed I didn’t think about her the way I thought about other girls I was attracted to. I tried so hard not to fall for her, but I felt something drawing me to her, something I’d never felt before.
Towards the end of the summer, I went to her dad and asked for his permission to date her. At first it came as a shock to him because I’d only met him once or twice before. He didn’t give me his permission then, but I understood he needed time to think about it, and I headed back to camp to go to sleep for the night. Sometime later we had a nice chat, he asked me how I was doing with my purity and he asked me to share my testimony. As I shared my testimony, I told him that I was fully engaged in the battle for sexual purity with all of my heart, and I told him about your book. He was already familiar with the book, as he is going through it with his youngest son, Megan’s brother.
After this good talk, he gave me his blessing to date his daughter. At 11:00 pm the night before my birthday, I asked Megan if she would be my girlfriend, and she gladly said yes. So we have been going out for almost three months now, and I have never been more close to a girl emotionally. We have been focusing on God in our relationship, and she is the best birthday gift I could ever receive.
After I got home from camp, I learned about Hero and Tactics. I decided to buy both, and I also bought Hero for Megan as well as Every Young Woman’s Battle. Hero has helped teach me how I should really treat a girl, how I should fight for her heart, fight for her purity and fight to know her heart. I’ve done just that and, because of it, I feel a very strong emotional connection between Megan and me despite the distance between us (we live apart because of school). Anyway, this is a feeling I’ve never felt with any girl I’ve dated in my past. Tactics is really showing me how I can guard my heart, as well as how to help my brothers get out of their sexual sin. I let a friend of mine borrow my copy of Hero, feeling that he needed it more than I did since I’d finished it and I am already applying all the strategies. This is a lifelong battle that I plan to never give up, because I have a strong yearning to be Megan’s Hero. Thank you, Fred, for writing these books.